All That I Had
by ScorpioGirl1987
Summary: Iroh's thoughts on Lu Ten's death and what happens afterwards. Songfic to Possibility by Lykke Li.


**I cannot get this song out of my head. So, I decided to do something about it! This is Iroh's thoughts after Lu Ten died. Yeah...can't get any more explanitary than that. Lol**

_'Children should not die before their parents.' _Iroh thought as he lay n his bed near the window of his bedchamber in the Fire Nation royal palace. He tried not to think about what had happened in the last few weeks, but he couldn't help himself._**  
**_

_**There's a possibility  
There's a possibility  
All that I had was all I'm gonna get  
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm**_

It all started on the five hundred and ninety-ninth day of the Ba Sing Se Siege. The earthbenders were getting more aggressive by the day_**  
**_

Apparently by now, they were fighting fire with...well, fire. The earthbenders already incapacitated two of Lu Ten's best friends, and Lu Ten himself was more determined than ever to stop the earthbenders. The Dai Li attached an explosive to the metal tank Lu Ten was driving. Iroh saw a Dai Li agent raise a boulder to hit the trigger and bended fire at him to stop him,. Unfortunately, Iroh's attack caused the Dai Li agent to bend the boulder at the trigger. The tank exploded, and Lu Ten was sent flying and screaming in terror, still in the tank, into a nearby building, which exploded on impact.

"NOOOOO!" Iroh screamed in horror. He sprinted towards the burning building. "I'M COMING LU TEN!"

Some of Iroh's soldiers took care of the Dai Li agent who triggered the attack, while Iroh tore through the demolished building, worried, anxious, and frightened for his son's life.

"Lu Ten!" He called through the smoke and debris. He coughed and continued looking. "Where are you? Where are you, Lu Ten?"

_**There's a possibility  
There's a possibility  
All I gonna get is gone with your step  
All I gonna get is gone with yours still  
**_

Iroh finally located Lu Ten pinned beneath a beam, unconscious. Heart beating furiously, Iroh frantically lifted the beam off of Lu Ten and he pulled him out. "Lu Ten?" Iroh shook him slightly, then lightly patted his cheek. "Lu Ten!" He felt his stomach drop and chills ran up and down his spine. "No...no. Please don't leave me!" He carried his lifeless son out of the debris bridal-style, shaking all over. Once out in the fresh air, Iroh collapsed on his knees and tried once again to revive Lu Ten. "Lu Ten? Lu Ten! No! No, don't leave me! _Don't_ you leave me!"

_**So tell me when you hear my heart stop  
You're the only one that knows**_

Iroh broke down into wracking sobs. He hugged his son's corpse tightly as some of Iroh's soldiers gathered around the two, protecting them. Iroh let out a scream of agony and pain. "NO! NOOOOO!" He continued screaming and crying until he finally passed out.

_**Tell me when you hear my silence  
There's a possibility I wouldn't know  
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm**_

Iroh woke up to find himself laying on his cot in his tent. One of his men came in. "General Iroh? I'm so very sorry for your loss. Lu Ten was one of the best soldiers I ever knew. I can't...even begin to imagine what you're going through."

Iroh swallowed. He was hoping it would all be a dream. He couldn't find himself to speak. All he could think about was how he wasn't able to save his son. He shouldn't have put him out on the field. What was he thinking?

Kachi, the soldier that came into Iroh's tent sighed. "General...I know you're upset, but...we need to know what you plan on doing next. Retaliating? Surrendering?"

Iroh closed his eyes and slowly sat up to face his soldier. "I'm tired. We're all tired. I think it's time we go home."

_**Know that when you leave  
Know that when you leave  
By blood and by me, you walk like a thief,  
By blood and by me, and I fall when you leave**_

The next day, Iroh's camp had a vigil for all of the soldiers they have lost during the siege. Tears rolled down Iroh's cheeks as Lu Ten's body drifted out to sea in a makeshift casket. He felt a part of his soul being wretched away.

_'How could this happen? And most important, _why _did this happen?'_ Iroh thought sadly. He felt numb all over. _'He was only nineteen years old!' _Iroh sniffed loudly. He dabbed at his eyes with handkerchief. He felt someone rub his back comfortingly. He felt worse than how he felt when his wife Reiko died four years previous. Reiko was being held hostage by rebels who wanted revenge on Iroh for killing their father. For two years, Lu Ten blamed Iroh for his mother's death, but eventually came to realize there was nothing he could have done.

_**So tell me when you hear my heart stop  
You're the only one that knows  
Tell me when you hear my silence  
There's a possibility I wouldn't know**_

Iroh felt his body ache all over. It felt like an iron hand squeezed his heart tightly. There were no tears left...yet he felt so depressed. He thought he'd never feel good again.

He slowly raised a knife to his throat. His hand shook violently and he squeezed his eyes shut. He took a few deep breaths and slowly dropped the knife._ 'No...this isn't the answer...' _

_**So tell me when my sigh is over  
You're the reason why I'm closed  
Tell me when you hear me falling**_

Iroh asked to be dropped off at Avatar Roku's temple. He did not explain why, but the soldiers obeyed anyway. He trudged up to the sanctuary and opened the doors with his firebending.

He knew it was risky and even deadly! But a man would do anything to get his son back. And that something was going to the spirit world to retrieve him.

Lu Ten was all Iroh had. His only beloved son. His best friend. His life.

It was all over. He couldn't let that happen.

After meditating for almost a whole day, Iroh found himself in a misty, barren forest. Some spirits were floating around. He was in the spirit world!

_**There's a possibility it wouldn't show  
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm**_

He walked around until he came face to face with Avatar Roku. He was surprised and amazed that he had made it into the Spirit World. Only the Avatar could enter it, after all!

"Avatar Roku." Iroh knelt down, bowed his head, and closed his eyes. "Please. "I've lost my son. Is there any way I can bring him back?"

Avatar Roku looked down upon Iroh with sad eyes. "I am afraid not. Dead is dead. You do not return from that."

Iroh cried softly. "What can I do?"

_**By blood and by me, and I'll fall when you leave.  
By blood and by me, I follow your lead.**_

Roku smiled slightly. "I do believe you and your nephew, Zuko are close. He is also my great-grandson."

Iroh was slightly surprised. "Ursa is your granddaughter?"

Roku nodded. "Ursa disappeared. Zuko will be influenced by his father. He will lose his way. If you can't help your son...you might feel better if you help someone else's'."

_**Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm**_

_**mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm**_

_**mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm**_

_**mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm**_

From that moment on, Iroh treated Zuko as his surrogate son. He often compared him to Lu Ten, but tried not to. No one can replace your lost loved one.

Iroh sat in front of Lu Ten's grave site, a look of pain and agony on his face. "My beloved Lu Ten. We will see each other again."

And they will.

After Iroh's work in the mortal world was done.


End file.
